Sunday, 27 May 2012

Family wishes, difficulties and challenges

My mother has had an objectively more difficult life than anyone I've ever known. I wish she could accept that finding her difficult life difficult, or finding my very challenging sister* very challenging, does not make her a failure, and does not mean she has to tell the world she can't cope (she does cope, but sometimes she's pushed to the edge of coping-ability). I wish I had a way to make her know this.

This week I'm going to call up various agencies - I wish I could do more but even doing the small things is helpful, I hope. I'm calling because it's easier for me than for my mum to hear "No, we can't/won't help you / budget cuts / no space / we help people with learning disabilities, not "high-functioning" like Asperger's / we can't help people who are in employment"... those replies don't directly make my life more difficult, they're not as much a kick to the stomach when you're down as they could be for a primary cater facing challenging behaviour.

I so much hope I don't get those replies. Otherwise, well, it's convenient I'm living nearer family for my foundation programme years, because respite care (that I hope to help provide) is so essential. Especially when that care is mostly emotional.
*She has Asperger syndrome (an autistic spectrum disorder, at the high-funtioning end) amongst other diagnoses, so can have challenging behaviour.

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